Today I found out that one of my favorite polyamorous blogs I’ve followed for years is essentially shutting down. I say “essentially” because she will still have the blog up and running, but instead of being a poly one, it will be based in monogamy as her husband and she are going through some changes in their relationship.
In the time I’ve followed this blog, she has gone back and forth to monogamy as a way to “save” her marriage frequently over the years. Instead of pushing through and sticking with what you believe in, the need from her partner and the norms of society have overwhelmed her to the point where she gives up on what she feels (or may feel, as I’m not inside her head) is right.
To say that taking a break from poly will help your marriage is to say that poly is detrimental to your marriage – that poly is the problem. When in fact, polyamory is who you are. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s barely a choice. I would say it’s how you’re wired. Can people learn to be poly or learn to be mono? Certainly. But it does seem to be easier when one or the other is so deeply ingrained in you.
With the loss of a more well-known poly blog, my husband mentioned I should really get back to writing more. “But how will I get my name out there,” I asked? He didn’t know, but he knew that it won’t happen at all unless I write. So, dear reader, I am sincerely hoping for “if you write it, they will read it”, and please feel free to share.
There will be more articles about my personal journey through polyamory and the problems and joys I’ve come across. Hopefully by sharing my experiences and other people joining in, we can dispel the thought that poly is something you can simply pick up and put down whenever you wish. It’s not something to be entered into lightly, but once you do it’s part of you. I can’t imagine ever turning my back on it.